(Okay, before you start reading. I just want you to know that I put caps not to sound intimidating lah. I just wanna bring out some points. Hahahaha.)
I am totally mortified.
I cannot be more disappointed.
I'm just so afraid to be friends with you anymore.
It's not such an easy thing as before already.
Now I seem to look at it as a risk.
A risk of my pride, respect and happiness.
Maybe its my fault that I did not make my views clear across to you.
But seriously, you still don't know why I am angry.
WHY I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
You still don't have a clue, do you?
Well, you might be an ah lian.
No offence, but I ain't gonna keep my comments inside anymore.
But really, yours actions are just sometimes unbelievable.
Sometimes its awfully unbearable.
Sometimes I wonder why Im hanging out with a person with such culture.
But that doesn't really matter after all.
Besides, you could correct those flaws.
Unless you tell me you're born with such a character.
And it's so scary because I'll never be able to know what to expect from you.
Considering the outlook, you might be a bubbly and jovial girl.
But the next moment, you might not be the person I used to know.
There seems to be so many sides of you.
And I am AFRAID.
Back to the main point on what I wanna stress on.
You still don't know whats the whole reason of this silly war.
Actually, it all revolves around one very simple word.
And that is, ATTITUDE.
The attitude you use to treat others.
The attitude you use to treat your FRIENDS.
All the "You are my number one friend" thinking just *POOF!* and disappeared after reading your conversation with Lycia when she was at my house.
I was so damn shocked.
I was thinking, "Why is she speaking like that? What's with that kinda of tone?"
Do you know how much despair Lycia was in?
That look on her face broke my heart, totally.
Then I found that expression exceptionally familiar.
You had drawn that frown on me and charmaines face before.
And that kind of ugly feeling that gets stuck up your heart as if its never ever gonna go away.
You hurt Lycia so badly.
And she told me so many stories.
I even found out that some stuff you said about her isn't true in the first place.
And the way you invaded her clique is just.. Im just speechless.
But I only started getting pissed when you maglined me and charmaine during your phone conversation with Lycia that night.
Now don't blame Lycia cause its totally not her fault.
The problem still lies with you here, I guess.
I was thinking of patching things up.
Dawn told me to give you a chance to prove yourself.
I said "No, I've given one chance too many. "
But then she said, "Since you've given so many, one more wouldn't hurt right?"
So I decided to make things better.
But your post about Charmaine was the last straw.
I know you were just trying to stand up for yourself.
Trying to defend yourself against what others had said about you.
But did you realise that language was very harsh?
You opened your post with a huge “FUCK YOU!” and called her a dumbass.
But if you haven't noticed, Charmaine never once called you names on her blog.
Or at least not in the two latest posts about our current conflict.
And why did you have to go use the internet as a tool to insult her so badly?
I mean, dont you think you've gone overboard?
And you cant possibly ask me to stand aside and let my friend get humiliated!
Really, I am shaking my head and wondering why someone would ever do such a thing.
Oh and what happened to all those statements that you wouldnt use any vulgarities in the future?
Like how you asked Jordan to stop cursing and swearing.
Im glad you still treat me as friend.
I do too.
But it's not gonna work one way.
You'll have gotta accept my best friend back too.
And treat her sincerely this time.
Although I was much more myself when you were not here,
Like I was able to crack lame jokes or make certain comments without having someone giving me the kinda look that utterly disgusts me,
But it still feels different than before.
I don't know about what your reactions will be.
But I'm prepared for whatever.
I am no longer the kind of person who would go to extreme measures just for a friend.
I don't wanna strip my pride off for anyone else ever again.
I just want to be happy.
Life has been giving me too much shit.
And it's a promise I made to make it better.
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To my readers a.k.a fellow friends, I sincerely apologise for the lack of updates. But school has really been bringing me down. I am so damn busy these days that I don't even have the time to work on my OWN blog skin. Having 6 hours of sleep nowadays isn't very healthy either.
So I guess I will update, WITH PICTURES tomorrow or the day after.
I PROMISE! :D
